>GET OUT OF THE TAXI
The door is locked.
"Hey, that's four pounds thirty, old chap."

>GIVE THE FIVE POUND NOTE TO THE DRIVER
"Thanks, chum."

>UNLOCK THE DOOR
The taxi door is now unlocked.

>GET OUT OF THE TAXI
Street Corner
You are on a street corner on the outskirts of London. A signpost reveals that you are on the corner of Foominster and Frobbington. The sidewalk continues north and east. Because of the heavy traffic here, crossing the street is out of the question.

>WHO AM I
You are Chester Smith, an unemployed granola salesman.

>WHAT IS THE OBJECT OF THE GAME?
Well, the superficial object of the game is to get to the end of the storyand achieve the maximum score.
The real object of the game is to show a bunch of novices how interactive fiction works.

>WALK NORTH
Outside Blood Bank
You are in the middle of the block on a street that runs north-south. Immediately to the east is the entrance to a massive granite (Footnote 9) building. Next to the entrance is a sign and a doorbell.

>FOOTNOTE 9
Well, concrete actually. We wanted a granite building for the story, but we couldn't afford it because constructing that giant spaceship for the Aldebaran Battle scene took such a big bite out of the budget. But the concrete IS covered with a plastic veneer that does LOOK a lot like granite.

>READ THE SIGN
"OUTSKIRTS OF LONDON BLOOD BANK: We pay 30 pounds for a pint of blood. Painless, takes only an hour. Ring doorbell for admittance.

>EAST
The Blood Bank door is closed.

>OPEN IT
It's locked.

>RING THE DOORBELL
You already did that, didn't you?

>NO
I think you're wrong. I'm a computer, so I have a really terrific memory, and I'm almost positive you already rang the doorbell. Couldn't you be mistaken?

>NO
Hmmm...well, I just looked back, and I guess you didn't ring the doorbell after all. Do you still want to ring the doorbell?

>YES
The bell rings. A minute later, a stooped man opens the door and beckons you to enter.

>ENTER THE BLOOD BANK
Waiting Room
This is a dim room with exits to the east and west. A narrow, winding stair leads downward. The room is sparsely furnished with several uncomfortable-looking benches. There is no one waiting ahead of you.
There is a bottle of smelling salts here.

The stooped man slams the front door and bolts it. "Please...have a seat. It will only be several...minutes." He exits to the east.

>SIT DOWN
What do you want to sit down on?

>THE BENCH
You are now sitting on the bench.

>ENJOY THE BENCH
Easier said than done, considering how hard and uncomfortable the bench is.

>TAKE THE BOTTLE OF SMELLING SALTS
You can't reach it from the bench.

>STAND UP
You are on your own feet again.

>TAKE THE BOTTLE OF SMELLING SALTS
Your load is too heavy.

>INVENTORY
You have:
a briefcase
a suit
It looks like the suit contains:
a ten-pound note
a grapefruit

>OPEN THE BRIEFCASE
Opening the briefcase reveals an array of granola samples.

>DROP THE GRAPEFRUIT THEN TAKE THE BOTTLE OF SMELLING SALTS
Dropped.

Taken.

>WAIT
After all, what's a waiting room for? Time passes...

The stooped man enters, pushing a wheelbarrow full of bones. You're no expert on the subject, but they sure don't look like chicken bones. He spills the bones down the winding stairway.

>WEST
The front door is closed.

>OPEN THE DOOR
Which door do you mean, the front door or the laboratory door?

>FRONT
It's bolted.

>LOOK
Waiting Room
This is a dim room with exits to the east and west. A narrow, winding stair leads downward. The room is sparsely furnished with several uncomfortable-looking benches. There is no one waiting ahead of you.
There is a grapefruit here.
The stooped man is here, pushing a wheelbarrow.

>STOOPED MAN, OPEN THE FRONT DOOR
"Who are you calling stooped? I've got a name you know - Igor."

>IGOR, OPEN THE FRONT DOOR
Igor chuckles. "Don't be nervous. It's completely...painless. There's nothing to worry about."

>IGOR, WHAT ABOUT THE BONES?
Oh! Um, they're just...fake bones...we use for the...anatomy class on Wednesdays!".

A gaunt man emerges from the doorway to the east. "Igor, bring in the next subject." He exits.

>BREAK DOWN THE STREET DOOR
This results in a very sore shoulder.

If you'll just...step this way," says Igor, producing a cattle prod.

>DON'T WALK EAST
You bravely hold your ground. Igor pokes you with the prod. You feel less brave.

>WALK EAST
Laboratory
This is an even dimmer room filled with strange apparatus. A person-sized table fills the center of the room.
The mad scientist is here, rubbing his hands.

Igor enters behind you and locks the door.

>DON'T PANIC
You try your best. You fail.

"The table...please lie down...on the table," says Igor, fondling the prod.

>LIE DOWN ON THE TABLE
You are now lying on the table. The mad scientist quickly shackles your wrists and ankles.

>MAD SCIENTIST, LET ME GO
"Who are you calling mad? They called me mad at Oxford also, but I'll show them!"

The mad scientist produces a hypodermic needle filled with a bubbling green fluid. He slowly inserts the needle into your arm. Everything becomes dark and fuzzy...

>LOOK
Everything is dark and fuzzy.

>NORTH
If you recall, you passed out a few moves ago.

>DIAGNOSE
If you recall, you passed out a few moves ago.

>LOOK AT ME
Everything is dark and fuzzy.

>WAIT
Time passes...

The fuzziness clears, and you find yourself in a strange new location.

>LOOK
West of House
You are standing in an open field west of a white house, with a boarded front door.
There is a small mailbox here.

>OPEN THE MAILBOX
Opening the small mailbox reveals a leaflet.

>INVENTORY
You have:
a briefcase
It looks like the briefcase contains:
an array of granola samples
a suit
It looks like the suit contains:
a ten-pound note
a bottle of smelling salts

>SMELL THE SMELLING SALTS
It smells just like the lid of a bottle of smelling salts.

>OPEN THE BOTTLE
Opened.

>SMELL THE SMELLING SALTS
The smell is overpowering. Your surroundings blur and grow indistinct...

Laboratory
Sitting on the table are:
some bones
Sitting on your workbench is:
a hypodermic needle
a book

>IGOR, REMOVE THE BONES
"Yes, master." Igor clears the table.
"There's another subject waiting outside."

>IGOR, BRING IN THE NEXT SUBJECT
"Yes, master."

>WHO AM I
You are Baron von Edelstein, the "Mad Professor of Oxford."

>EXAMINE THE HYPODERMIC NEEDLE
It is filled with a bubbling green fluid, your identity transfer serum.

>READ THE BOOK
(taking the book first)
The book is entitled "Who's Who in Interactive Fiction Sample Transcripts." It would take hours and hours to read the whole thing; perhaps you'd like to consult the book about a specific individual?

>CONSULT THE BOOK ABOUT ME
The entry about Baron von Edelstein reads, "A minor and poorly developed character in the Hitchhiker's sample transcript."

Igor prods the subject into the room and onto the table.

>INJECT THE SUBJECT WITH THE SERUM
You're not holding the hypodermic needle.

>TAKE THE HYPODERMIC NEEDLE
Taken.

>INJECT THE SUBJECT WITH THE SERUM

The subject, whom you forgot to shackle to the table, pushes you away. In the ensuing struggle, you accidentally inject yourself with the serum. Lights whirl around your head. Especially red, yellow, and green lights. The lights slow down and finally stop whirling, and you realize that...

Your taxi is stopped at a traffic light. It's been an hour since your last fare. Suddenly, someone pulls open the door and slides into the back seat. "Corner of Frobbington and Foominster, please."